TOL #17 ~ Beethoven and Ballet

Once again, after a long break, I am linking up for Thinking Out Loud Thursday with Amanda! 

[get more info here!]

"Thankful" = "Happy"?

Hello again, old friend. It seems my little break turned into a 50-day complete absence.

I hadn't exactly intended for that to happen.

Seeing as it's Thanksgiving Day, I thought it fitting to return to my beloved blog and start plunking away at the keys once again. I'm actually getting a little nostalgic just now. :')

I took a fabulous idea from the lovely Carrie over at All I Know Now and decided to write out a page full of things that make me happy. Little things, like toe pads (which you will see on my humble list below), and somewhat larger things like electricity and Internet connection. 

Really, I would be very, very limited without Internet. I couldn't even do my schoolwork!

...Then again, maybe no Internet wouldn't be such a horrendous thing... ;)

Mini-Vacation Recap

My grandma came to stay for nine days last week. Her sister lives in Archibold, Ohio, home of the Sauder Village (more info on that here, if you're interested). Since my dad had that week off from work, we decided to take advantage of driving two-and-a-half hours to drop my grandma off at her sister's, and we went on a two-day "vacation" that went something like this:

Tuesday

I had originally planned on getting up at 6:15 to work on some schoolwork so that I wouldn't fall behind while we were away. Instead, I slept an extra 30 minutes because I just couldn't bring myself to so much as sit up at such an ungodly hour.
I did get a bit of schoolwork done, regardless, and even got a half-hour walk in on the beast of death treadmill. I finished packing, took the fastest shower in history (my history, at least) and ate some breakfast before starting the journey to Archibold.

Food Anxiety + My Struggle

I'm going to jump right to the point. No fancy intro, no pretty pictures, no fantastic words or elaborately thought-out scripting. Just me and my thoughts (and a few of my opinions)...

I have had serious problems with food - rather, my relationship with food - for a long time. To give you a little background; I grew faster in height and width than anyone else I knew. Being home-schooled and going to a really small church, I had two best friends who, coming from a different family with different genetics than mine, were significantly smaller than I was. I compared myself to them more often the older I got, until I was full-on bashing myself every time I saw them. I took a ballet class, and I wore a leotard, tights, and ballet skirt like all the other girls, but I felt like a whale in comparison to everyone else. I compared myself to other girls, not noting how skilled I was or how hard I worked. All that mattered to me at that age was all that mattered to me say, six months ago - and still does sometimes.

Thinking Out Loud #16

Happy Thursday! :D

[more info here]

I'm getting less and less creative with my introductions...Ain't nobody got time fo dat.  ;)

Thinking Out Loud #14

Happy Thursday! :)

[more info here]

New Discoveries ~ Thinking Out Loud #12

First and foremost, Amanda, I am so sorry for not linking up yet again. I promise I still love you. <3 ? 

I have a reason for going MIA! I was actually lying in bed at 11 o'clock last Thursday night, when I remembered "I never published my TOL post! Dang it dang it dang it dang it dang it dang it dang. it."
And that was that. I didn't get around to posting anything, and aside from sharing some of my favorites, I didn't post at all between then and now.
The Worst Ever Blogger Award goes to yours truly! :'''''D (*sobbing*)

[more info here!]

 Fun fact: it has taken me 3+ months to memorize the URL for the ToL page...I'm not quite sure why I have it memorized, but now I do. Hooray for me...?

On to the good stuff:

Level 16

Friday was my level-up day!
As childish as it sounds, I still get excited for presents...many of which I received.
Also, you would think I took 3947262 pictures of the event; in reality I took about three, if even than many.
I apologize in advance.

[source]

On the 27th of June, sixteen years ago, I - Janessa - was born. Since then, I've had enough cake to last me a lifetime, torn through enough wrapping paper to make my fingers bleed, and blown out enough candles to completely rid my lungs of oxygen.

This year was uber special because, in America at least, an individual's 16th birthday is a pretty huge deal. Personally, all I wanted was a sleepover with a sizable group of my favorite girls, but Mom was set on this big party that was essentially an open house. And I haven't even graduated from my freshman year of high school yet (Mom's kinda famous for overkill. ;) ). We were [eventually] able to figure out how both of us could win: I would have two parties, back to back. Actually, three, counting the "party" I had with my family...I'm not complaining. That meant a lot of hugs, a lot of food, and a lot of cards to read. :)

On Thursday, I went went out for lunch with my parents, my brothers, and my sister.

We went to a Chinese restaurant where we got the best waiter who told us his name was Jackie Chan, and kept going on about how lucky he was to serve "such a beautiful family." I got the almond chicken with white rice, which was fantastic.

After we were finished, Jackie said to me "next time your beautiful family come here, but you bring another boy, I not serve him."
If he isn't the best waiter ever, I don't know who is.

Later, we got frozen yogurt. I went all out with the toppings, and, as always, it was delish. <3

A mess of Reese's candies, chocolate covered pretzels,
mini peanut butter cups, Oreo pieces, peanut butter sauce,
chocolate sauce, whipped cream, and chocolate sprinkles.

Afterward, I opened presents from my parents and siblings. I received a multitude of owl-themed products - including a towel, a pencil holder, and a rug - and from my parents my favorite was a little owl mug that I named Clementine.

(Don't tell the others I'm picking favorites)

On Friday, before the party, I took my permit test...
...and passed! I was sweating like a horse but I had studied the book previously and riddled my mom with questions right beforehand, so I was confident in most of my answers and I only got three incorrect.
After taking my test, I had a checkup at the doctor's office (an annual thing my mom still makes me do), then from there, we picked up my friends Kaylee and Kennedi for the "pre-party."
We picked up Subway sandwiches and stopped at a local coffee house. Then we walked around town before mom picked us up to get ready for the others to arrive.

Later on, a good amount of my friends showed up for the party. I was actually really worried because - long story short - not everyone knew I was even having a party on Friday. But it worked out just fine. :)
Mom made cookies in place of cake, and, of course, there was pizza. Lots of pizza.

On Saturday, Kaylee and  Kennedi and I went to the library with Dad to find some horror movies - preferably ones that were rated PG-13 because Kennedi had never seen a horror movie before. We found Mama and 1408, then we walked to Redbox for The Purge.
[Synopsis: Mama was hilarious, believe it or not. The storyline was so unrealistic, but Lucas and Annabel are a pretty cute couple and the acting wasn't horrendous so it was worth watching. Mama was played by a man with Marfan Syndrome and there was hardly and CG involved.
The Purge was the most disappointing horror movie I have ever seen. The only scary thing was the jumpscares, and even then it wasn't as scary as I let on. We tried watching it in the dark but we couldn't do it, so maybe it's because the lights were on...
1408 was also very disappointing because - again - it wasn't scary. I was anticipating something terrifying to happen but it never did and I just want the hours of my life back that I wasted on it.]
Halfway through Mama, guests started arriving. My uncle came from Ohio to make the food: turkey meatballs, cole slaw, dinner rolls, baked mac & cheese, roasted sweet potatoes and vegetables, raw vegetables and dip, and strawberry cupcakes with lemon icing. I got 12 pinkish-red roses to compliment the table...

I received a multitude of cards and gave out enough hugs to last me a week. It was fun getting to hang out with my closest friends; it still hasn't sunk in yet that I'm 16 and I can drive.

On Sunday, Mom took me driving for 55 minutes, and later Dad took me driving for 40 (30 of those were at nighttime). I almost got hit  by a semi because you are not supposed to slow to a stop when you want to turn off a road to another road or a driveway or a bridge or anything else. Just don't stop. Trust me.
Frankly, I'm doing pretty well for a first-timer, I think. I agree with everyone who has their license now...driving is not as much fun as you think it is. I was so eager to start driving because I thought it'd be a breeze and I'd get the hang of it in the blink of an eye but nooooooo. Ohhhh no. My eyes are always darting precariously from the speedometer to the road to the rearview mirror back to the speedometer to the steering wheel to the road...'tis a vicious cycle of certain death. And I tend to "hug the white line" (Dad quote) which is better than veering to the middle of the road, I suppose. And at night I forgot to turn down my brights when a semi passed in the opposite lane. Agh. >.<  There's a lot more mental action involved in driving than I anticipated. What did I get myself into?...

And no, I don't have my own car yet. That's not something that my parents buy for me like in those early-2000s movies where the rich daughter is given a car on her 16th birthday. 1) I'm not rich, and 2) my parents and I have already discussed that I am buying my own car when the time comes; or at least a huge portion of the cost. Dad insists that if I buy it with my own money I'm more likely to be careful with it. Which is true, because I realize now that cars are not cheap. At all.

Thanks for stopping by to hear [read] me ramble on recap my weekend. ;)

~JK

Dance Recital XLII ~ June 2014

This weekend was my dance company's 42nd dance recital. We had rehearsals on Tuesday & Wednesday, and performances Thursday, Friday, & Saturday. The rehearsals went as well as they usually do (not fantastic, but not horrendous) but the performances went better than I had expected.

On Thursday, a good majority of my friends came to see me.

It was delightful having them there; but before I went onstage, I thought I was going to be sick.
(I didn't, by the way.)
Afterwards, Dad took my sister and I and my friends Kaylee, Kennedi, and Emily to Taco Bell - as is tradition - at about 10 o'clock at night. Late dinners are very normal for us performers. ;)

Friday wasn't anything special, really. My mom was the only one who came to see me, and she had seen both of my dances as many times as I had. I wasn't worried in the slightest, until right before I stepped out on stage. I didn't get that "oh crap I'm gonna hurl" feeling, but it was pretty hot backstage. Not a comfy feeling.
However, Friday's performance wasn't near as hectic as Thursday's, which helped a great deal.

Saturday's (final) performance took place at 2 PM rather than 7 PM, which made my morning a lot more rushed but my after-performance attitude a lot more positive. Needless to say, I wasn't exactly cheery after the curtains closed. But I'm getting ahead of myself...
Before the performance, the owner of the studio (my ballet/pointe teacher) gave out scholarships and introduced the seniors for the last time this year. Many tears were shed, but on a happy note, my friend Hannah received a scholarship - which I believe is one year of classes free - for ballet. I am immensely proud of this girl; she deserved it so much. :)
The final dances were bittersweet. I almost cried during advanced ballet, knowing that after this year, I have only three years left. Yikes. I'm praying I get moved up into the advanced class; Hannah's last year is coming up and I do NOT want to be stuck in a lower class with no friends and no hope for my future.
That last bit was a little over-dramatic, I admit.
After the second act was complete and I said my goodbyes to everyone I could; Mom, my sister, my friends Johanna and Deborah and I went out for dinner, followed by ice cream from Save-A-Lot. Very classy.

I have yet to receive my class pictures and individual photos - I'll edit this post afterward. :)

~JK

Thinking Out Loud #6

Wow. 

This week has been crazy. 

Note: I started this post on Monday, because I knew how busy I would be throughout the week. So here is my Thinking Out Loud Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday-and-Thursday post for this week.

{el linkup is HERE}

I.  To kick off this post, I'm going to admit something very very important: I have found a cure for allergies/colds.
I say "cure," I mean "temporary treatment."  Take 1 teaspoon of raw, local honey (if you can get your hands on some), and 1/4 teaspoon of ground cinnamon. Mix it up, eat it, and be amazed with the results.
I come down with allergies every year, at least twice. And they aren't the kind of allergies that go away within a few days; no, this is the prevalent sickness that leaves me bedridden and miserable off and on for weeks. See, I think I've recovered, so then I go back to my regular routine of daily walks, doing the dishes, tidying my room - normal, everyday physical exertion - then those allergies decide to sneak back up on me.
This honey-and-cinnamon thing seems to be working pretty well for me, though! Granted, I've gone through the number of Kleenexes that are supposed to last a week and have only lasted me a couple of hours.

II.  I mentioned last week that my 2013-2014 dance recital is coming up this Thursday (at the time this post is published). I could go on and on about how nostalgic I'm feeling. The smell of hairspray and pounds of makeup; the laughter of 4 year old girls in tutus; the feedback of the sound system on the first day of rehearsals; the brain farts all-around, forgetting half the dances; shedding tears during the final finale...My list of dance recital loves is neverending.

III.  One of my best-dance-friends, Hannah, is graduating next year. *tear*

[photo creds to Hannah's Mom]

I love this girl so much. We haven't been in the same ballet class for a whole year now, and I'm determined to make it into the advanced ballet class next year so that I can spend her last year with her.

IV.  I'm probably going to stay on the subject of the dance recital for the next four ToL posts...
Anyways. This is what happens when one puts one's hair up into a ballet bun and proceeds to spray it with multiple layers of mega-hold hairspray. And then brushes it all out...

much volume...

V.  Turns out, the 12 year old tap girls are better than some of the 18 year old tap girls. It makes me want to-- I dunno, kick a cat or whatever that morbid phrase is.
Their little costumes look like peacocks, and they're dancing to Calling All the Monsters. A strange combination, but I. love. it.

VI.  Okay, we're almost off the subject of dance. I promise. My best friends Kaylee and Kennedi are coming to spend the night after tomorrow's performance. Yee! As wild as it sounds, we're sleeping in the bed of the truck (which, regardless of its name, is not as cozy as a real bed). We're going to fill it with huge bundles of comforters and pillows, and cuddle up as platonic lovers.

VII.  As for whatever little free time I have, I spend it revising a novelette that I finished writing two years ago. 'Tis a 21st century spinoff of Alice in Wonderland that I was originally going to make into a web series or a short film, but my number one goal at this point is to fix all grammatical errors and eventually  get it published.
It's amazing how much I sucked at writing two years ago, regardless of what my parents told me.

VIII.  VBS is this weekend - that was the absolute highlight of my childhood. Last year I worked in the nursery and watched a little girl whom I haven't seen since. I miss the days of sing-along songs with cheesy motions and crappy 90s video effects.

IX.  My coffee addiction has gotten better. My cookie addiction has not.
I made some "healthy" chocolate-peanut-butter-chip cookies adapted from this recipe.
Holy cannoli. You must try it out!

That is all I have for you this week. 

Do I get brownie points for remembering to link up, in the midst of my immense busy-ness? 

;)

~JK

Weekend Highlights {3/5} ~ Disney Marathon

Friday

The senior high girls came together for girls' night at Bethany's house. In preparation for prom, they painted nails, did hair, and tried on secondhand dresses. We had pizza (so. much. pizza.) and coffee, then afterward we met up with the guys and with the junior high kids to watch a movie [Space Jam] and hang out. 

Saturday

My friend Emily is turning 18 on the 20th; so we decided to hang out and have a Disney marathon. After I finished making her a card, I baked her some cookies because I have no money to buy her an actual gift.
After lunchtime, Emily picked me up and we drove to a new secondhand store in town to find black dress pants. Once we were finished there, we went shopping for heels (we found some killer stilettos) and then we went to the library with our mental lists of Disney movies.
Needless to say, we came back empty-handed, aside from College Road Trip, which Emily checked out for later on. We then drove to a nearby scratch-and-dent store where Emily found many large bags full of meal bars, much like the bag I bought last week. After shopping, we went to Emily's church for a family fun night. There was free food and lots of games.

Two hours later, we went back to my house and I made an attempt to squeeze a two-person tent in my little bedroom. It fit, miraculously; a little snug, but with plenty of room for the both of us. Come to think of it, I really should have gotten pictures. :/

The marathon began with Hannah Montana; season 1, episode 1. So many memories flooded back. When I was a young'un, I watched HM like nothing else. I wanted to be on the show, I wanted to go to a concert, I wanted Miley Cyrus to adopt me; I spent every waking moment of my life thinking about Hannah Montana. Then Can't be Tamed happened and I was distraught to the point of never wanting to see her face ever again, or any other part of her body.
That came out well, didn't it?...

After skipping through a few odd episodes and seasons, we watched Hercules and a couple more episodes of HM. We retreated upstairs to my bedroom around midnight and stayed up chatting and snacking until two in the morning, when we finally decided to call it a night (or early morning, in this case).

It was a fun weekend.
Once again, I didn't take the time or thought to snap any pics. I really ought to work on that one.

~JK

Weekend Highlights {2/5} ~ Penny Boards and Ice Cream

This Saturday was my best friend Kennedi's seventeenth year of life. 

(photo credit to Kaylee)

[Side note: this photograph was taken much earlier in the year, when it was less warm and delightful.]

I spent the weekend an hour and a half away at the Koozers' house, which has basically become my second home over the last four-or-so years. 

In celebration of Kennedi being alive for so long, we all took Friday off schoolwork (praise Jesus) and hung out in the front yard most of the time.

Friday 

Kaylee, Kennedi, and I practiced riding our skateboards. They both own Penny skateboards, whereas I have a $40 Kryptonics Torpedo that I purchased from K-Mart. It was a really nice day, so we spent most of our time outside - particularly in the later hours of the afternoon, when Johanna and Deborah were supposed to arrive. We waited two hours longer than was anticipated. I was very miffed. 

Once they arrived, we Penny boarded (er, Kryptonics boarded, in my case) up and down the driveway for a good while before returning to the cool indoors for dinner.

After dinner, we went out for ice cream and went boarding in the park. You would not believe how slow I was on that skateboard. My frustration increases ever more at the thought of my piteousness. I was quite pathetic, honestly. 

(Photo credit to Mrs. Koozer)

The ice cream was delicious though. All sore feelings aside, the ice cream really hit the spot. Chocolate chip cookie dough will forever be my number one. <3

After ice cream, we went to get some Jones soda, which I had never tasted. Praise be to he who manufactures this product because holy wow, it was good.
The downside, however, was that it was almost 11 o'clock at night and I was expectant of a caffeine burst to keep me awake for the even later earlier hours, but alas, I ended up dozing off multiple times near the end of The Decoy Bride.

After the movie was over, we switched to Marriage Boot Camp...
I have nothing to say about that. 'Twas the typical reality show. Shouting, fists flying, loads of bleeping, and security got involved when one lady brought out a kitchen knife. But everything's more intriguing at one in the morning.

Saturday

For Kennedi's "actual" birthday, we spent the majority of the morning boarding on the driveway again. We were given the tragic news that we would all (Johanna, Deborah, and myself) be leaving at three o'clock that afternoon. I was hoping for a time closer to 9 PM or later...but that doesn't usually work out anyway.

We left home around one, Kennedi's boyfriend in tow, and signed up for a drawing for Pulse Festival tickets. We got enough for all of us, plus a few others, and left the building less than half an hour later. 

We then went back to the park for more skateboarding, then moped around for a good 45 minutes before Johanna and Deborah's parent came to retrieve us. Dad was already waiting at Johanna and Deborah's house upon our arrival, but he took a decent time chatting amongst the other adults so my time there was lengthened for a bit.

from left: Johanna, Kennedi, Deborah, Kaylee, Janessa
(photo credit to Mrs. Koozer)

This weekend was incredible. I don't get to see my out-of-town friends very often, so it was a real pleasure to get to spend a couple of days in their glorious presence. I could go on and on about how much I adore them, but I'll keep it short for all other readers' sake. ;)

(Photo credit to Kaylee)

Just look at this girl! It's no surprise she's the only one in our friend group with a significant other. 

~JK

Stomachaches

A little-known fact about me: I love peanut butter.
I actually love peanut butter more than chocolate. And I like chocolate a lot.

image: Polyvore

However, I have recently discovered that my stomach doesn't agree with a certain brand of peanut butter - my favorite peanut butter. *sobs*

image: Tumblr

I'm far from believing that I have a peanut allergy, as I'm able to eat peanuts alone just fine, but this one particular brand of peanut butter irritates my stomach to no avail.

In addition to this great distress, I have found that the peanuts I once used to make my own peanut butter are no longer being sold at my local Wal-Mart. What's up with that??
Sam's Club sells huge bags of raw almonds that I oven-roast at home and grind into almond butter (my second largest obsession)...but guess what decided to break down?
Last week, we said goodbye to our faithful old food processor. Hopefully, I'll be able to find a good one soon because I'm beginning to feel the effects of deprivation. There are recipes aplenty that call for peanut/almond butter, which calls for peanuts/almonds and a food processor.
I have been dying to try this muffin recipe, but without almond butter, there can be no chocolate-chip almond butter muffins. Sad, sad day.

~JK

Cake for a Friend

Yesterday was my best friend's 15th birthday. 
She's away right now, along with all means of communication. No phones are allowed where she is, which means that I have not spoken to texted her since last Friday.
In fact, four other best friends have gone on the same trip as she and I haven't been in contact with them either. I haven't spoken to or heard from all five of them in nearly a week!

Deprivation does a thing to the mind. In this case, I decided to take control of my depression and - instead of destroying everything in my path in a fit of rage - bake a cake. 

If you so desire, you can duplicate this cake by using this recipe and adding about 1 1/4 cups of mini chocolate chips to the batter. 

I took pictures of the actual process, but the lighting in my kitchen is so poor, everything turned out a wretched yellow-orange color. The pictures that did turn out halfway decent had to be edited like crazy before I deemed them worthy (Camera + is the saving grace of all my crappy iPod photographs). 

 The middle caved in a bit, as you can see. 
Also, the recipe said to bake for 22 minutes...it took me 35. And the middle caved in. 

But it was filled with mini chocolate chips so I can't complain too much.

I used this recipe  for the icing, only I didn't put in any cocoa powder, and instead put in some blue food coloring.

This here is what happens when you don't let the cake cool COMPLETELY before lathering it with frosting.

Personal note taken.

In conclusion, the cake tasted marvelous. I'm beginning to see it as a self-pity-party cake more than a Kaylee's-15th-birthday cake. 

This shows just how dependent I am upon my friends. I need them more than I need cake (believe me, I do need cake every once in a while) and no matter how many mini chocolate chips I shove in there, they can't make up for my platonic lovers.

Hurry up and get back from Florida, guys, I miss you! 

Joining the Big Kids

Prior to a month ago, I was completely unaware that other bloggers had made weekly "things" like What I Ate Wednesday and Thinking Out Loud Thursday. I recently started following a blog called Running With Spoons - the author [Amanda] has been keeping up faithfully with the weekly updates mentioned above, and more. 

Since with my Weebly site I am unable to link myself to any helper site (Bloglovin', for example), I have decided to use Blogger as a means of "journaling" my thoughts publicly while also advertising my Weebly site, which I personally think has a much nicer layout and will be more appealing to readers than this little ol' Blogspot blog. 
Additionally, I find it easier to write spur-of-the-moment, personal posts on a smaller website (like Blogspot) and save the carefully planned and "big words" posts for Weebly. 

Anyways, it's time to get to the point: I'm going to start joining in on some of the "things" that other bloggers are doing.
I feel like a little kid in the park who wants to climb the jungle gym with the big kids but is too shy to ask if she can join and is too afraid of falling off... 

Blogger vs. Weebly

In December, I decided to make the switch from Blogger to Weebly.

To be honest, I'm not entirely sure why it was that I chose to go from one to the other, but for whatever purpose laid behind it, I stopped using my Blogger account. 

After a while, I got a little iffy about Weebly. I wasn't able to link my site to Bloglovin', for one, and I wasn't able to comment on other people's blogs, offering up my blog url along with it.

I'm not 100% sure this is what I want to do, but for a little while at least, I'm going to try and hold up two blogs again.

In short: I'm coming back to Blogger.

I think I'll use my blog on Weebly for the more serious posts (travel, significant events, etc.) and my blog here on Blogger for the more rambling, journal-like posts; for more down-to-earth, personal matters. 

Any other time I've tried to maintain two separate blogs, it has backfired on me... hopefully, I've learned a thing or two since then and I can maintain them more effectively.

As always, I shall conclude with a quote: 

"You never know when some small thing will lead to a big idea." 

- Adriana Trigiani

~JK

PULSE FEST 2013

  
  On Saturday, August 10, my friends Johanna, Deborah, Nathan, Kaylee, and Kennedi and I packed our shoulder bags, lathered on our sunscreen, and took a trip to the World Pulse Festival in South Bend. 
  Performing was Tricia Brock, Natalie Grant, Jason Castro, Audio Adrenaline, Switchfoot, and The City Harmonic; all of which I had heard of and none of which I had met. 
  When we arrived, we set up our lawn chairs, as you do when you're in a crowd of hundreds of people, and took a little walk around. We casually caught sight of Jason Castro at his merchandise table [which, ironically, was worked only by people with dreadlocks]; the start of a slightly eventful day.
  While contemplating where to buy food, we were greeted by my friend Emily who somehow managed to find us in the sea of people. We then proceeded to buy and consume pizza that lasted all of us a good five hours. They were big pieces of pizza.
  We entered a few drawings for prizes, spun a wheel that had about 8,482,479,128,200 "sorry"s on it and 1/10 that amount of wins, and accepted an abundance of free frisbees. Johanna managed to win a backpack, so she was crowned our "thing carrier" for the day.
  After waiting in line for 700 hours, we finally managed to meet Jason Castro. Kaylee and I got a picture with him and he signed my tee shirt. He has a pretty cool autograph, might I add.
  We walked around in the sun for what felt like forever before deciding to return to our beloved lawn chairs where we watched Natalie Grant and The City Harmonic. Personally, I was more blown away by TCH than Miss Grant, but I think that was more because Elias Dummer decided to start whipping his hair while playing piano. It's very hard to ignore a hair-whipping performer.
  For what must have been forever, we sat in the scorching hot sun waiting for Audio Adrenaline, then decided that we wanted to go up to the front as close to the stage as we could.
  I liked it much better in the back. There was a really tall guy in front of me who kept scooting backwards and I was too afraid to ask him not to step on me. 
  After a few songs, we decided to leave the front and go over to join the queue that was already forming to meet Audio A. After another incredibly long wait, we met the crew that makes up Audio Adrenaline, and to make matters even more incredible, I got a high five from the bass guitarist. 
  Switchfoot was the last to perform, and sadly, we weren't able to meet them either as we had to leave. But someday [I hope] I'll get the chance to personally inquire as to where in the world Jon Foreman gets all his energy. I mean, jumping up onto a drum and standing on the gate that separates the crowd from the stage usually indicates some level of excitement.
  
  I will now insert pictures of what is now the coolest tee shirt I own, complete with signatures:

I can honestly say that was the best concert I've ever been to. I had previously been to Pulse Fest once, but that was way back when I was a baby and I remember none of it so it doesn't count. But in all seriousness, I am very grateful to have been able to spend the day with my best friends and to meet some of the coolest Christian artists out there. Check that off my bucket list. Maybe next time I'll have the guts to ask for a hug... Maybe.


"Change your thoughts and you change your world." -Norman Vincent Peale

~JK

THE ART OF SINGING [PART 2]

Photo source: www.topcoder.com

  [[PLEASE READ PART ONE OR THIS WILL MAKE NO SENSE]]

  My experience at both nursing homes went pretty well. My hands were shaky but miraculously, my voice wasn't; I walked out feeling accomplished and proud of having done what I set out to do [and not completely destroying the song as I was so terrified I might].

  So evidently, the next step would be to get Janessa to sing in church in front of everyone because, the very next week, I was asked to sing in church in front of everyone. 

What.

Okay, when I said my confidence level went up, I didn't mean it went up miles, I meant it went up a few steps! There's a BIG difference between singing for a group of people who'll flat out appreciate your existence and a group of people who probably have no idea I can speak let alone sing.

  Now, that being said, I did understand that singing at the nursing homes could mean someday singing in church, I just wasn't aware that that someday was August the 18th. So now I have to pick a different song, learn it, and sing it well in the next two weeks. Nervous? No, not at all...

"Believe you can and you're halfway there." -Theodore Roosevelt

~JK

[note: my dad's birthday is on the 18th, which is why my mother sneakily told someone that I should sing a special for him that Sunday. So in actuality it was my mom who got me into this. Sneaky, sneaky mom...]

THE ART OF SINGING [PART 1]

Photo source: en.wikipedia.org

  I am not a singer. I never have been, because I've always been way too shy and timid and unsure of myself to go anywhere near a microphone let alone anyone else hear me sing [not including singing along to the radio in the car]. I've known for awhile that I have the ability somewhere within me, but despite that, I have never ever ever volunteered to sing in front of a crowd or even in front of one person; I just cannot do it. That all changed this week.

  

  Two Sundays ago, I was asked if I could sing a special for the next visit to the nursing homes [a group from my church goes to sing for the nursing homes in town every once in a while] and being the kind of person I am, I couldn't say no. 

  Among other things, this was going through my mind for a good few days: "What if I black out?" "What if I suck?" "What if they never let me sing again and I'm labeled as a failure for the rest of my life?" 

  The person who asked me if I would sing happened to be my worship leader and former guitar teacher, but even then he was one of the many people who had never heard me sing. What did that mean? That meant that I had to sing for him. 

**panic mode: activated**

  I was given a week and a half to pick a song and practice it before I would have to sing for him. In the meantime I spent a good while on Google, researching different ways to exercise the vocals and keep my voice from cracking, all the while pulling my hair out with anxiety. 

  So the next Wednesday rolled around and I was pretty confident that I could sing the song, I could play the chords, and I could perform without throwing up. I strapped on a guitar, calmed down as best I could, and sang. [Keep in mind, I had never in my life sang for anyone other than a couple of my closest friends and my parents, so this was a pretty frickin scary thing to be asked to do.]

  Halfway through the song, I was stopped. "Okay, I've heard enough."

  Those are possibly the worst words anyone could ever use. They lead toward disappointment and tears and everything bad in the world. "I've heard enough" is like saying "you're so bad I can't even handle you right now". 

  "Janessa..."

  *oh crap*

  "I had no idea you could sing like that. You have an amazing voice."

  At this point my entire body probably heaved a sigh of relief.

  As I said before, I have never been a singer. No one besides my parents and a couple friends had heard me sing for real before yesterday, so to be told that I have natural talent is like being given an enormous, prepaid ice cream sundae. My confidence level just went up about four points, especially considering that my worship leader has been performing for pretty much his whole life, so he's one of those people that will tell you honestly if you're awful or not. 

  Despite nailing my "audition", I'm still incredibly nervous about singing for all the people in the nursing homes. The way I think of it is like this: You're on American Idol. You make your audition. You absolutely blow the judges away.  You go through to the next round. You perform in front of millions of people, including those watching on TV. No one there has seen your audition. You screw up the performance and everyone thinks you suck. Those four judges know that you have an amazing ability inside of you but it doesn't matter because four people vs. millions of people is hardly touching the surface. You go home with your head hanging and your heart torn into pieces because while those four judges know and believe that you have talent, all of America saw that crap performance and believe that you're a fail. 

  Whatever the outcome, I'm really pleased that I got over my fear. To be honest, if I wasn't forced to sing, I probably wouldn't have. I wouldn't have broken out of my protective shell and may have gone for a good few years before ever making an attempt to sing. If I ever decided that I wanted to be a worship leader, it very well may have been too late, or at least a lot harder considering I'd be an inexperienced adult as opposed to an inexperienced teenager. I don't know if I'll do another special anytime soon or if I'll join the worship team as a singer, but who knows? I still have to sing at the nursing homes. For the most part I'm confident it won't be a massive fail but you never know.  Jesus, take the wheel.

  Farewell! And may the hair on your toes never fall out.

"Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree." -Martin Luther

~JK

ON MY WAY

  Recently, I took a nine-day vacation to the faraway lands of Mississippi [and by far away, I mean a whopping eleven hours away] to visit my cousin and her family. 

  While on this trip, I realized that I have an issue with being away from home for too long. For the first five or six days, I suffered from chronic Homesickness; in my defense, I've only been that far away from home once, and it was for two days, not nine. Yes, I got over it and ended up not wanting to go home, but this trip really got me thinking... I  have only three more years before I leave the nest. If I don't learn to understand that being away from home doesn't mean I'm going to die, I'll never survive college or a four-week dance intensive, let alone a week-long vacation. So basically I've decided that if I ever want to see the world, I'm going to need to get over my anxiety and not be afraid of leaving home. That's easy for some people, but for me that's probably one of the hardest things I've ever tried to do. I can't even go to a 5-day camp without crying at least once! 

  But for real, I have to figure out a way to at least lower the intensity of my anxiety. I don't have what's even close to the worst case of anxiety, but either way it's still really difficult for me to leave home for more than a couple of days. 

  

  On another note: I followed the trend and decided to dip-dye my hair with red Kool-Aid. It's been exactly three weeks since I dyed my hair, and the color has just now started to fade thanks to the chlorine in my pool. I'm contemplating whether or not I should do this, but for my birthday, my friend gave me a bottle of blue hair dye and said "for when your red hair fades out"... it's not Kool-Aid, it's "semi-permanent", meaning I'll have blue tips for a good few months if I follow up with it. I'm probably going to wait until after summer's over, that way the color won't change when it hits the chlorine and in my opinion, blue would be a very nice winter-y color. 

  In other news, I have decided to do more DIY stuff so there's a way for me to get blogging. Short update there. Yay!

That is all. Farewell, and may the hair on your toes never fall out!

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light." -Albus Dumbledore

~JK