At some point in your life, you've probably heard someone remark over something unhealthy by saying "oh, how healthy this is..." or "I'll have to take a nice, long run after this!" I refer to this as 'the healthy joke', i.e. one of the most annoying things anyone could say to me.
Now, if I was a hardcore athlete or personal trainer, I would appreciate strict accountability. I am not a person who is known for persistence and self-control when it comes to regular exercise and healthy eating; but I'm not training for the Olympics. I'm a 16-year-old Average Jane, and I eat what makes my body feel good. If I'm craving some chocolate, I'm gonna eat some chocolate! But I know what things make me feel not so good, so I steer clear of those things; if I choose to eat a box of fries or a vanilla cone, it's my body and I'll pay the consequences later, but I'm going to enjoy that soft serve while it lasts!
The big question here is: why do people judge themselves based upon how healthy or unhealthy the food is that they're eating? Better yet: why do people feel the need to point out what other people are eating? First of all, you are not defined by what you eat. If you want to go out for lunch with a friend and she orders a salad, you are not "required" to order a salad yourself; if you want a Big Mac, get a Big Mac and enjoy that sucker! Secondly, you shouldn't feel inclined to take control of what someone else has on their plate (unless it's your child, in which case you are the parent and I completely respect that).
I don't think it's wrong to approach someone you're very close to (say, a parent or a sibling) if you feel their eating habits are out of control, but even then, you shouldn't blatantly point out that what they're eating is bad for them. That isn't going to do anything for them.
When we constantly bash ourselves in the presence of other people, we make those other people feel lesser of themselves. You can say "I feel so fat...but you look great!" to someone who's 20 pounds heavier than you, and you'd better believe they aren't going to think "wow, I do look great!" they're going to think "wow, if she thinks she's fat, what does that make me?"
It's the same thing with food. If you bash yourself over how much you're eating or what kind of food you're eating, the person sitting next to you with an extra drizzle of Ranch dressing very well may go home and start weighing out all of the things she now feels is wrong about her.
That being said, you shouldn't bash yourself even when you're not in the presence of others. I've said it before and I'll say it again: you are not defined by what you eat.
You and only you can determine what is best for your body. You can psych yourself into thinking that cheeseburgers and frosties make you feel good, but in the long run, you're only being fulfilled mentally. I love frappuccinos and french fries and pizza, all of which make me feel happy while I'm consuming them, but I don't feel so great afterward, which is why I don't eat them every day. When I do, I don't sit down and think "oh crap what am I putting into my body?" "This is going to make me so sick." "I have a five-mile run on my agenda now..."
Truth be told, I used to think those things. I used to beat myself up for every little "bad" thing I ate. I used to want to throw up every time I smelled fast food. Now, after far too many years of self-destruction and negative self-talk, I have learned that my worth is not defined by the quality of the food I put into my body.
I have become happier than I have been in years, just by letting myself be free of the negativity that plagued my mind for so long.
Yes, I have more "soft spots" on my body now that I have stopped being so strict on myself. No, I don't limit myself to low-carb, low-cal, low-fat foods.
Those foods never made me happy. That life never made me happy. If salads with no dressing, raw vegetables with no salt, and glass after glass of nothing but pure, double-filtered water makes you happy, then by all means, go for it! But for me, it was only when I stopped depriving myself of what brought me joy that I really began to eat the way I should.
I don't have a perfectly "clean" diet, but I have a much cleaner mind. By being happy, and by not stressing over what I eat, my body has learned what it needs to do. If I go out for a Starbucks and I want a mocha cookie crumble, it's going in my belly. It makes me happier than choking down unsweetened tea; and you know what? I'm fine with that.
My only request is that you stop bashing yourself, and stop bashing other people. If you're having ice cream night at youth group, don't sit down with your friends and whisper jokingly "how healthy are we?", just eat your fricking ice cream and enjoy it. We weren't created to stress out over food - eat what makes your body feel good, and don't neglect what makes your mind feel good too.
~JK
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