Day three of this challenge brings me to confess eight fears... here we go:
1. Possibly my deepest fear is rejection/abandonment. While I believe that one is never truly alone - thanks to our great Savior - I still cringe at the thought of never again having friends or close family or anyone to hug. Imagine the rest of my lifetime without hugs. That is the equivalent of leaving a child without his little safety blanket, like Linus from Peanuts.
2. Pain - I have low tolerance for pain, and watching graphic movies and television shows doesn't exactly help (I'm talking World War Z and I Shouldn't Be Alive).
Believe it or not, I don't have a huge fear of needles. I've been through so many medical injections in my lifetime that I'm almost numb to the whole concept. I can't watch them do it though; I had blood drawn once and that was the scariest thing of my life, watching my own blood flow into those little vials. *gag*
3. This is a weird (and gross) one: I'm afraid of being constipated. I've had experiences in the past that I hope never ever to experience again. I won't go into detail.
4. Performing - I get such bad stage fright before I perform anything that in the last few minutes before I walk onstage, I'm convinced that I'll either black out, throw up, or quit, all of which I have yet to do. I really don't understand why it still stresses me out.
5. Heights - flying is the exception. I enjoy flying. But I saw my friend break his arm after jumping off a swing and I am still petrified to this day.
6. Fast driving - my dad likes to make fun of me with this one... he's a crazy driver and when I'm unfortunate enough to be in the passenger seat when he's driving - especially when the roads are icy - he makes sure to go hard on the gas and fast on the wheel swerving.
Mind you, he has never been in a major accident. He doesn't drive like a maniac on the highway, over hills, or on busy roads; as contradictory as it sounds, he's smart about his crazy driving.
7. Public restrooms - it's not the thought of how unsanitary everything is, it's the thought of another person listening to me relieving myself.
True story: I thought I had to pee while in a restaurant, so I went to the restroom at the same time as another woman. I was all prepared to pee but nothing happened (this is a regular occurrence for me, please tell me I'm not the only one). So I sat there while the other woman did her thing, and I waited until she left before I was able to pee. I had to mentally recite to myself "we're never going to see each other again; she won't remember this encounter, don't even worry about it" because I don't think many people go into a public restroom and just sit there for two minutes waiting for something to happen. You just don't do that.
8. The future. I'm both excited and anxious about what my future will hold, because I have such high hopes. I've learned over the course of many years that you can't have such high expectations for everything; once you do, all of your hopes come crashing down on top of you in a heap of disappointment. Therefore, I am terrified that my future will be less than what I anticipate and I'll end up more disappointed in myself than I ever have been.
Also, I'm afraid I'll end up being a 900-pound lug who does nothing with her life and has virtually no hope anymore. Maybe then I'll have my television debut...?