I have experienced somewhat of an epiphany. And I'm going to share it with you.
I've only spoken very lightly on my past struggle with an eating disorder and related anxiety. I spent a solid four and a half years constantly struggling with negative body image and dysmorphia, thoughts of purging and self-harming, restriction, obsession with losing weight and exercising; the list goes on.
I went through therapy for four months - something I never thought I would do. I lost so much weight, including muscle mass, it was hard for me to do anything for long periods of time. I was constantly freezing. My lips were blue, even in the summertime. I wore a sweatshirt everywhere I went, and I had trouble getting to sleep at night.
Living every day of my life that way, constantly tormented by an inner voice that nagged at me, telling me lies about myself and urging me to continue down the path I was going. The path that could very well have brought me to my death. The path I have no intention of ever looking back on again.
Hello again, old friend. It seems my little break turned into a 50-day complete absence.
I hadn't exactly intended for that to happen.
Seeing as it's Thanksgiving Day, I thought it fitting to return to my beloved blog and start plunking away at the keys once again. I'm actually getting a little nostalgic just now. :')
I took a fabulous idea from the lovely Carrie over at All I Know Now and decided to write out a page full of things that make me happy. Little things, like toe pads (which you will see on my humble list below), and somewhat larger things like electricity and Internet connection.
Really, I would be very, very limited without Internet. I couldn't even do my schoolwork!
...Then again, maybe no Internet wouldn't be such a horrendous thing... ;)
My grandma came to stay for nine days last week. Her sister lives in Archibold, Ohio, home of the Sauder Village (more info on that here, if you're interested). Since my dad had that week off from work, we decided to take advantage of driving two-and-a-half hours to drop my grandma off at her sister's, and we went on a two-day "vacation" that went something like this:
I had originally planned on getting up at 6:15 to work on some schoolwork so that I wouldn't fall behind while we were away. Instead, I slept an extra 30 minutes because I just couldn't bring myself to so much as sit up at such an ungodly hour.
I did get a bit of schoolwork done, regardless, and even got a half-hour walk in on the beast of death treadmill. I finished packing, took the fastest shower in history (my history, at least) and ate some breakfast before starting the journey to Archibold.